just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
