White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
