Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
