Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
