he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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