OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
