its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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