I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
