He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
