found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
