It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i now understand why vodka
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
