I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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