He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
