No, drunk sperm still make babies.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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