she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
