used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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