There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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