I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
