I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
