have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
