Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
