did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
