There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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