omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
