At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
