Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Actions speak louder than pants.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
