Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you never un-have a 4some
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
