actually, I'm a sock model
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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