Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
