He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
