The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
