My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
