Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
