so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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