Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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