can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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