Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
