Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
