Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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