Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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