oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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