I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
