You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
