garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
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