what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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