oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Apparently you make a good broom.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
