She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
home. puking in laundry basket.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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