we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
