Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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