I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
