you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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